PHYSICAL ANALYSIS: Bodybuilder Kevin Schnittker

 

NAME: Kevin Schnittker
BORN: 29th April 1987
FROM: Scottsdale, Arizona
OCCUPATION: Bodybuilder, Fitness Model, Athlete, Personal Trainer
 
STATS:

HEIGHT: 6'                 WEIGHT:  200 LBS
WAIST: 34"                 CHEST: 44"
NECK: 16"                  ARMS: 17"
FOREARMS: 14"       THIGHS: 24.5"
CALVES: 16"              SHOE: 12.5 

Kevin Schnittker is a man's man. This straight and hunky beast was a former collegiate football player and is now a professional Bodybuilder and Personal Trainer. Kevin surely commands respect and admiration when he enters a room. Having a handsome chiseled face with blond hair and blue eyes, as well as big hulking muscles who graced many fitness magazine covers, this greek statue of a man deserves a thorough and meticulous analysis of his physique!


STEP 1: FACE ANALYSIS

PictRiev will be accessed to determine how masculine his face is. The algorithm is based on facial hair, jawline and check bone structure etc. The results are given in a scale from 0 to 100, 100 being the highest score.

RESULTS: Kevin's face is a 100% masculine, meaning he only has hard and manly facial features, such as a strong and wide jawline, eyebrows closer to his eyes etc. Those are signals of a high level of testosterone in his body, which makes other men intinctively intimated by him and the women to be instinctively attracted to him.


STEP 2: BODY ANALYSIS

Kevin's upper body will be analyzed on Bodywhat.com. This online ressource will automatically analyse his "Body Fat Index", "Sexy Index" and "Muscle Index" based on previous datas. 

RESULTS:

Even knowing Kevin's an accomplished bodybuilder, those results are still mighty impressive! Those stats are compared with all the other Bodywhat users; and keeping in mind that Bodywhat is more used by health concious people as well as fitness fanatics, Kevin is really the cream of the crop in terms of physical perfection.

BODY FAT INDEX: 7.6%,  meaning his body fat is lower than 99.7% of Bodywhat users!
SEXY INDEX: 9 out of 10, meaning his body looks better than 100% of Bodywhat users!
MUSCLE INDEX: 9.9 out of 10, meaning his body is musclier than 98.9% of Bodywhat users!

His body has been classified by the site as tall, ripped, swole and viking. As a VIKING, Kevin has a very pronounced V-taper! That means that not only his shoulders are wide, but his waist is very thin in comparison. He carries a good amount of muscle around his shoulders and back and his build looks very athletic. 

This may be the most sought-after body type. Congratulations Kevin! 

STEP 3: PENIS ANALYSIS

After having reviewed the face and body, it's time to analyse this man where it really matters: his manhood. For that we need Kevin to undress completely, so we can see him in all his glory.

So please Kevin, proceed to remove all your cloth now.

Underwear as well Kevin. You look concerned, with such a 100% manly face as well as a tall, ripped and swole viking body. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about.

Stop hiding and remove your hands from your groin Kevin, this is ridiculous! How can we have an analysis of your manhood if you are clutching your penis as if it would fall off otherwise.

  Come on Kevin don't be shy, hands behind your back now!!!

OK... That's quite... unexpected. But equally impressive as all your other physical stats, just in the other direction of the scale ( lol ). You are sweating like crazy! Don't be so nervous big guy! It's going to be over soon, after that we will know how much of an alpha male you really are. 

Now go stand over there big guy, so we can take the measures. Keep your arms and hands on your sides, no covering up anymore.

"Step 3" or "last step" consist of measuring the penis size of a man. Only the penis length will be measured, balls are not included. Kevin's height will be used as a scale to assess his true size at a flaccid state, this is to prevent some insecure men trying to "fluff", which is considered cheating.

First we need to set his height (6 feet or 72 inches) as reference. Please spread your armes nice and wide Kevin.

 Ok, now we can finally measure your penis:

Oops! Sorry Kevin, but it looks like your penis is too small for me to measure according to your height. You'll need to come closer big guy, I'll measure your chest length now to use it as new reference.

Great! this should work, now we can finally measure your manhood. You look a bit defeated big guy. I'm sure it's not as bad as you think haha!  

Let's see the RESULTS:

As we can see, Kevin Schnittker's flaccid penis length is only 1.1in or 2.8cm (for our international friends). But what does it mean? Let's put those data on "calcSD", an online ressource which compares penis size worldwide based on multiple studies:

According to the results. Kevin's endowment is classified as "micro" or micropenis (no surprise there). Less than 0.01% of Earth's population will have a smaller flacid penis than him. 

Living in the State of Arizona, which has a population of 7 million people and with half of them being men. Out of those 3'500'000 men, 73% of them are above 15 years old, meaning they've begin puberty (according to the 2006 CIA World Factbook), which brings the "adult male" population of Arizona at 2'555'000. Out of those 2'555'000 adult men, 2'554'995 will be better endowed than Kevin, meaning that in the whole state of Arizona, only 5 men have a smaller or as small flacid penis than this big Bodybuilder!

With the world population being at roughly 7 billions, and with half of it being male and only 73% being older than 15 years old. We can conclude that Kevin Schnittker has not only a micropenis, but one of the smallest micropenis on Earth! With only 5'000 men in the whole World having a smaller or as small of a dick as him!!! 


CONCLUSION:

Kevin Schnittker has a perfect face, ranking a 100% percent masculine. He also has a perfect muscular body, which has a "Sexy Index" of 9/10 and a "Muscle Index" of 9.9/10, meaning he is in the 1% of the most muscular in desirable body in the world. On the other hand (and where it really counts), Kevin has one of the smallest micropenis which ranks in the bottom 0.01% of the world population.

This means that wherever Kevin goes, he can be sure without a doubt that he is the sexiest and the biggest, most muscular man around. However, he can also be certain that he will be the "man" with the tiniest dick of them all.